


Minion House Party

by IntoBeyondDarkness



Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: Disappointment, Eavesdropping, F/M, Family, Funny, Gen, Heartbreak, M/M, Minions, Misunderstandings, Party, Unicorns, Unrequited Love, Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 11:59:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoBeyondDarkness/pseuds/IntoBeyondDarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No you're not invited! ...After a misunderstanding, can the minions cheer themselves up without getting into too much trouble? The answer? ...Probably not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minion House Party

Dave the Minion whistled as he walked down the large corridors that made up the underground lair of his boss's lab. Everything was normal and he was in his normal happy mood. He just finished bomb duty  _(Gusta la bomba, no?)_  and now he was off to the minion common area. They had a bunch of things down there to keep a fun loving minion like himself and the other 10,403 minions content. There was music, which they loved immensely. They loved to dance and sing, they often sang karaoke in their lounge. They sang and danced and played and ate bananas and apples to their little heart's desires. That is, if they even had hearts. He stopped walking. Didn't they have hearts? He knew they all started as yellow single celled organisms and from the same strand of DNA, of course, but he never really questioned their species make up. They were minions, and they were minions for as long as Dave could remember. The minions were curious creatures, so Dave placed his hand where he thought a heart should be and listened.

_Thumpah thumpah thumpah._

"Hahahaha! La thumpah! Thump thump thump!" Dave laughed at the sound of his own heartbeat, imitating it.

After that he continued walking down the hallways, knocking on his chest and playing with his heartbeat while laughing. He stopped in front of a door and a water cooler to catch his breath. Sighing with a small smile, he took a paper cup and filled it with water.

"…So when are you gonna tell 'em?" Dr. Nefario talked low so as to not be overheard.

"Huh?" Dave asked and peered into the room he heard the voices from, dropping his water on the floor where it soaked into the red carpet. He peaked in just enough to see his boss Gru and the scientist Dr. Nefario talking to each other. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop…but he was sure his boss would be proud of him for acting slightly evil. Eavesdropping  _was_ kind of evil. He would have cheered at his small evil act if he wasn't afraid that he'd be caught listening.

"…I vas thinking of telling dem tomorrow, after I get everything set up and all." Gru replied to the old scientist.

"Well, alright. They've never been on a vacation before. Be careful, you wouldn't want them to get too excited. You know how they are. I still say there's a few too many of them around here, if you ask me."

"Whatever." Gru waved his hand in the air. "They'll be fine, and just so you kno, you have just as much to do with dem being around here as I do."

"You wanted them in the first place." Dr. Nefario pointed out.

"Wat, and you didn't?"

"I never said that."

"Well, it sounded like you were saying dat. Watch it, dere part of de family too."

Dr. Nefario shook his head. "Families shouldn't be evil. Those are two different things, they shouldn't be mixed."

"Dhey aren't evil, Dr. Nefario. Look at dem! Dere like little kids running around here!"

"That's because they really  _are_."

Gru nodded.

Dave kept listening in. He loved his boss more than anything, they all did. They were devoted to the bald evil genius. They did whatever he said. The minions owed him everything.

"So where are you taking them for vacation?" Dr. Nefario started up again.

"Vacanza?" Dave questioned to himself from behind the door.

Gru's face lit up into a devious smile. "Dat ees a surprise, my dear Nefario!"

"I haven't seen you get this excited over anything ever since you and Ms. Wilde-"

"Ah! No mentioning of  _dat_. Do you want de minions to hear what you are saying? How you gonna explain  _dat_ to dem?"

"I doubt they'd even know what I was talking about."

"Also, she ees not a  _Ms_ anymore, she ees a  _Mrs!_ A Mrs!"

Dr. Nefario nodded again. "Mrs. Gru, of course."

Dave groaned, and he thought he felt his heart ache deep inside his yellow core. He had lost the love of his life. It hurt him a bit, but with a little partying and drowning his sorrows in banana smoothies his good friend Kevin made him, he was able to move on. Okay, maybe he was still hurting from it but…he did still have strong feelings for the agent Lucy Wilde.

"I can't wait to see de look on her face when she sees de sun high in de sky! And de gurls! I wonder what de minions would think of eet!" Gru exclaimed excitedly but that was all the young minion needed to hear.

They were going on a family vacation! All of them! Him, all the other minions, the girls, Lucy and Gru!

" _Lucy_." Dave growled her name seductively, grinning. He was excited and happy, and he could barely hold it in. He was bouncing at the door before he ran off. He ran into someone on the way. "Oof!" The air was knocked out of him when he was thrown back onto the medieval carpet. He got up angrily, waving his fist at whoever hit him. "Hey! Ten ciudad! Cosa! …Oh…" He noticed who it was. "Bello..."

"Hey Dave." Lucy waved to the small minion. "Here, let me help you with that." She said and helped Dave to stand.

"Tank yu."

"No problem." Lucy said, her hand running through the ends of her hair and Dave was sucked back into another love montage, the music already starting to play in his head.

_This rainy day is temporary_

_The contrast is why we got him_

' _Cause sunshine due is just a cloud away way way way way way way way way way way way_

_So what you blown a fuse (You blown a fuse)_

_Well that happens to us all (That happens to us all)_

.

.

.

"Dave? Hey? Are you alright?" Lucy snapped her fingers in front of the dazed minion's face. She hummed curiously when she realized she was unable to regain his attention.

_._

_._

_._

_._

_We all, of course, been there before_

_Been there cryin, fightin_

_But all that good energy be your strong_

_Won't get away way way way_

_This rainy day is temporary_

_The contrast is why we got him_

' _Cause sunshine due is just a cloud away way way way way way way way way way way way…_

.

.

.

"I'm gonna go, okay?" Lucy pointed down the corridor.

Dave was punched back into the real world, and his lips stopped kissing the air. "Oh. Okay."

Lucy kneeled down and kissed him on the cheek, offering him a nice smile before walking away.

Dave touched the spot on his yellow cheeks. They turned a dark red. "Ehi uomo!" He exclaimed happily. Not only were they all going on vacation, but he might even have a chance with Lucy! He ran down the corridors, ecstatic to tell the others.

.

.

.

"…I juhst have to get de tickets so we all can-"

"So we all can what?" Lucy asked and Gru jumped a foot in the air.

"Lucy!" Gru exclaimed nervously. "W-wat are you doing down here?"

"I just came to see how things were doing and all. I get bored up in the house all by myself."

"You're not all alone, you have de gurls. Speaking of which, where are they exactly?" Gru asked her and Dr. Nefario rolled his eyes.

"They're up in the house, why? There's no problem with them being up in the house alone, Gru."

Gru sighed. "Yes, I know dat,  _I do_ , but…I  _really_  don't like de fact that they are up dere all by demselves with no one to tend to them in case they need a heart transplant…or a kidney, or two, two kidneys!"

Dr. Nefario figured this would be a good time to leave before he got mixed up in another argument between the two fairly newly-weds. "I'll go check up on them if you'd like."

"Thank you, Dr. Nefario. Eet ees very appreciated." Gru said.

Dr. Nefario snorted and started to slowly make his way down through the many halls. It was going to take a while, and after five minutes he was successfully out of sight of Gru and Lucy. They stared after him blinking for a while.

"Well, we're all alone down here." Lucy stated, bouncing on her heels.

"No, we're not. Dere are tens of thousands of minions plus us down here. Therefore we are not alone at all. Alone ees de understatement here. In fact, we are surrounded by minions. They are everywhere. De complete opposite of being all alone down here." Gru rambled on aimlessly. "They live down here. By fault we are actually intruding in their personal space. We must make things right and stay upstairs for de rest of de day."

"You sure are secretive. Luckily I'm a secret agent and know everything." Lucy patted on her laser gun she kept on her belt.

"I thought I told you to get rid of dat thing. You remember de last time you left eet lying around. You were in de shower and for whatever reason Dave got ahold of your laundry. He nearly blew his tongue off kissing dat gun."

"He sure is an affectionate little guy, isn't he?"

"You know, I don't know wat ees wrong with him still. I keep finding him asleep in our bed in between us. No matter how many times I yell at him to get out, or reinforce de locks on de door, he always finds his way in dere. De little weirdo."

"Well I think he's adorable."

"Says de one dat nearly killed him when she met him."

Lucy rolled her eyes at the mention of the memory, then smiled, nudging Gru lightly. "So…Florida huh?"

"Hey! Dat was supposed to be a surprise! How'd you find out?"

"Oh you know, data bases and files and stuff."

"I thought I told you to stay off my computer!"

Lucy shrugged.

Gru scowled. "Eet was supposed to be a surprise! I had eet hidden perfectly and you ruin de surprise!"

"I can't wait to tell the girls! They'll be so surprised! Like, ahhh! We're going to Florida!" Lucy made giddy, over exaggerated gestures with her hands.

"You were supposed to be surprised too when I planned to announce eet." Gru said, eyes narrowed.

"I bet the little guys will be surprised too, right?"

"De wat?"

"The little guys." Lucy clarified.

"You mean de minions?"

Lucy frowned. "Well, yeah."

"They aren't going."

"No?"

"No! Of course not! Dis ees a family vacation! Hence dere must be family! Dr. Nefario won't be coming with us either."

"They're family too."

"Of course they are, babey." Gru pulled her closer to him. "But do you have any idea wat eet would take to bring ten-thousand, four hundred and three minions with us? We're taking a plane. Do you really think minions on a plane would go all dat well?"

"I guess not…"

"And then we have to watch dem. Eet ees impossible to keep track of all those minions and simultaneously, at the same time, try to have fun."

Lucy nodded. "But will they be alright here by themselves?"

"They won't be by demselves. They will be with Dr. Nefario."

"Oh." Lucy stated. " Nefario should come with us."

"He can't. He must stay behind and watch de minions."

"I'm sure they'll be fine here by themselves. Just give them some rules and we'll go."

"No offence to you sweetey, but dat ees a horrible idea, de worst idea I ever heard. You want me to leave de minions alone….een our house…while we are hundreds upon hundreds of miles away from dem…" Gru told her, blankly. "De minions…alone…"

"When was the last time Dr. Nefario had a vacation around here?"

"Never. Whenever we took leave I went on vacation from evil by myself, he would stay and watch de minions."

"That's not really fair, is it?"

"No, I suppose dat ees not fair."

Lucy started leading the two of them up to the house. "We'll bring him with us then?"

"I'll think about eet…"

* * *

.

.

.

Down in the minion common area, the minions were doing what they normally did when they were off duty and had nothing to do. The whole place was crawling and dancing and singing and shouting with minions, short and tall, all of them varying. There was a combination of appearance and variations of the minions although they were all very similar. Some minions were short with two eyes or one eye, stout or combed down hair. There were thousands like that. Then there were tall, longer minions. These minions normally had two eyes and again their hair on the top of their head varied. There were thousands of these as well, but less of them then the shorter minions. Then there were the short and wider minions, they were the same as the short minions but wider in width.

Other than those slight differences, yellow was everywhere, bouncing off the walls and jumping and spinning around everywhere. The room was filled to the brim with minions. This wasn't even all of them here, some were up in the house way above and others were in different parts of the lab on duty. The rest were here partying.

"La bomba! Aiuta sua un bomba!" Mark the Minion barged into the room covered in soot, yelling and pointing frantically. The festivities stopped , the music halted and all the minions looked at him and waited.

Somewhere an explosion went off in the lab. More waiting occurred before everything was silent again, no other explosion or occurrence sounded.

Another minion came running in, it was Lance who wore his costume of red pigtails and a dress. He gave a thumbs up and announced. "Tutto chiaro!" He gave the all clear and the partying resumed with him running in to join it.

Mark sighed. "Chaste tou." And he took a seat at the little bar.

Kevin the Minion was working the bar that night. "Mal hi?"

"Hai." Mark nodded solemnly, agreeing to the fact that he did have a bad day.

Kevin quickly and expertly prepared a drink with half a banana sticking out of it, shake-ed not stirred. He slid it over to his down friend.

"Ooh! Banana!" Mark drank it down happily.

The rest of the minions socialized and did a number of different things: Volleyball on the fake beach in there, foosball, video games in the corner, some were even gambling at some tables.

Tim the Minion cried on the poker table, Donny, another minion patted him on the back while Phil who somehow obtained a black tux for the game, repossessed the pile of apples expressionlessly.

"Avanti servire." Phil announced, playing the next hand of cards.

Other minions, such as Jorge, a wider minion along with Jerry, Stuart, and Carl were dancing on the dance floor. They stomped their feet on the floor of multicolored squares and sang with glee.

" _Ah li peda papai!_

_Pugati po bagai_

_Badi badi badi badi badi kiya papoy_

_Bulatu ki kadi pooty pa yetay ah pe ya kuda padee_

_Kayamani kay yu la rus se yay pudaa!_

_Eh de yu la matibula ma kay yu lee say da!_

_Ah li peda papai_

_Bugati po bagai_

_Badi badi badi badi badi kiya papoy!_

_Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!...Hahaha!"_

The minions sang throughout the room, causing a ruckus and clinking mugs together.

"Ragazzi! TUTTI!" Dave finally made it into the room. "Necesito watashi! Daremoga mimiwokatamukeru ga!"

Stuart approached his friend and led him inside to sit at the bar. He instructed him to calm down and breathe evenly, asking what was wrong. "Esta sucediendo?"

"Big boss! Big boss!" Dave cried and that immediately got a handful of other minions attention.

Kevin was one of the first to respond. "Big boss problemas pericolo?"

There were murmurs from other minions:

"Big boss?"

"Provlima?"

"Tasuke to ka?"

Kevin whistled, trying to get everyone's attention. It failed and he stomped over to his DJ table right beside his bar. Some might say it'd be hard manning a bar and DJing a party at the same time, but it wasn't really that hard to do so in his opinion.

The records scratched and stopped the music when he turned it off. Kevin picked up the microphone and spoke into it over everyone. "Malista! Akouste! Koitaxte!" Kevin demanded silence and soon got all the minions attention. It was now completely quiet and he handed the mike over to Dave.

Dave took the mike with a nod, saying a meek "Tank yu."

All the minions stared at him, some blinking patiently and some glaring at the fact that their fun was interrupted. Tim took this opportunity to cheat on the card game while Phil wasn't looking. He snickered at the ace and Phil noticed this with his hands on his hips.

"Hey!" Phil whined.

Tim blew a raspberry and Phil tackled him.

Other than that, Dave had every minion's attention and he gulped nervously. He wasn't much of a public speaker, although he was one of the more outgoing minions out there.

Dave laughed nervously. "Um, bello!"

No one responded, except for Jorge who waved foolishly, stopped by Lance in his dress who hit him. Jorge stopped waving and looked down.

Dave gulped again, and tried to get himself to say what he was excited to say just seconds before. "Ho para tu un anuncio."

The minions nodded for him to go on with his 'announcement'.

"Um…" Dave tugged on his overalls. Man, this was hard! He didn't know how Gru did this all the time. "Big boss—"

"Big boss?"

"Big boss!"

"Despica?"

Some minions responded, all excited. That was one thing that would never change. The minions were always happy to have a boss, or hear of their boss or love anything to do with their boss. Anything was possible with their boss, that's how Gru made them all feel.

Dave nodded, gaining his confidence to complete his announcement. He smiled and delayed the message finally. "Big boss subete vacanza."

There was a moments silence and Dave wondered if telling them was a mistake. Then he got the big reaction he had hoped for.

"YAYAYAYAYAYAY!" Shouted a minion that suddenly stood on top of the bar to cheer.

This was followed by a roar of applauses and whistles and shouts of joy from every minion. They started back up their celebrations. Before they were just doing it for fun, now they actually had a reason to celebrate. They were going on vacation with their boss! Kevin pulled Dave into the festivities, and the two minions disappeared into the crowd.

.

.

.

.

Dr. Nefario finally made it to a door, sighing. He was getting a bit old for this. He needed a better way of getting around than walking. His motorized vehicle was in the shop at the moment, and then there was the problem that  _he_ wasn't in the shop with it. If he wasn't in the shop than who was fixing it?

" _YAYAYAYAYAYAY!"_

He stopped when he heard that. It was a minion screaming. He's heard the sound of a minion yelling at the top of its lungs many times before, so he already recognized this. It was Stuart screaming. Don't ask how he knew this. Even he was surprised when he found out that he knew every one of them apart.

His first thought was something exploded. Something always exploded, or there was a fire somewhere.  _(Bee do Bee do Bee do!)_

The scream came from the other side of the door. He stood on his toes to peer into the small window up on the metal door. Oh, they were just fooling around. But the minions looked exceedingly happy for some reason, in his opinion. He pushed the door open a crack to eavesdrop. He was evil so it was okay, also, he was in charge of the minions after all. He had to make sure everything was going well with them. This justified his snooping, but he just watched them.

Tim was losing at the gambling tables again, Phil was raking in the winnings in a charming black tuxedo, Kevin and Dave were ballroom dancing together, no one was working the bar so Mark was gulping all the drinks there, Stuart was jumping up and down on top of the bar, Lance was twirling around in his dress absentmindedly, Donny stole Lance's wig and Lance started crying, Mark found the stash of banana's Kevin kept hidden under the bar, now Kevin was cursing and chasing after him for stealing his bananas, and Dave was watching Kevin run around while blushing.

Well, everything seemed normal there. So he entered through the door and went to go find the tube that would bring him up to the house. He knew there was one in this room somewhere…

"Nefario." A minion said his name and was tugging on his pants leg.

"Oh, hello Phil."

Phil kept pulling on his trousers until the old scientist looked down again.

Dr. Nefario frowned. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Tim kangaete je triche!" Phil complained.

"Well who cares what Tim thinks? Also, you do go a bit too hard on him with the card games at times."

"No!" Phil denied. "Tim un bebe!"

"No un bebe! Tu un bebe!" Tim replied.

"No!" Phil disagreed.

Dr. Nefario inched away from that argument, still looking for the correct tube. He was so busy looking that he walked into a few minions, successfully knocking them down. "Sorry."

Bob, Jerry and Carl stood up and answered in that order.

"Sono."

"Daijobu."

"Okay!" Carl was last to speak, with his small smile. The three minions walked away with no harm done, back into the crowd.

Dr. Nefario shrugged. "Well they seem happy." He said to himself and finally found the tube, activating it and making the floors move underneath all of them. The minions paid no attention as the whole floor raised up to the house's living room. The old scientist stepped off and the floor was again lowered back to its rightful place, the music now heard as a faint noise from below the floorboards.

He'd barely taken a step forward when he heard another scream, this time through the house. He sighed at the voice.

Agnes.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Agnes screamed and ran into the living room, right into Dr. Nefario.

"Hello Agnes. How are you doing today?"

"Grandpa Nefario! Edith took my unicorn!" Agnes pointed back into the room she just ran out of with tears.

Edith walked in a second later, unicorn in hand as she examined it fully. "He's not our grandpa, and I was just inspecting it."

"Edith! How many times do I have to tell you not to take Agnes' unicorn- Oh." Margo stopped yelling once she was in the room with all of them. "Hey Dr. Nefario."

"Hello." Dr. Nefario nodded.

"Tell her to give it back." Agnes pleaded, her lip shaking.

Nefario turned to the middle blond girl. "Now why are you inspecting a unicorn for?"

Edith answered him. "I'm just checking to see if there's a bomb in it, you know to see if it'll explode."

"Explode?!" Agnes cried, ready to start screaming again.

Margo started. "She's just kidding Agnes, it's not going to explode."

"It might." Edith said. "If I find a bomb inside of it."

Margo snatched the unicorn from Edith and handed it back to Agnes.

Dr. Nefario blinked. "I don't think we have to worry about it exploding. There is no need for an explosive in a unicorn so I wouldn't think there would be one in there."

Agnes wasn't listening, she just hugged her stuffed doll to her chest as hard as her little arms allowed.

"You never know." Edith replied in her own defense. "There could have been one in there, if I could've just found it."

"There isn't a bomb in the unicorn, but I appreciate your concern for your family's safety. I'm glad you're using that sixth paranoia sense I taught you." Dr. Nefario said. "You've made me proud right now."

"Really?" Edith asked with wonder.

Dr. Nefario nodded. "In fact, here's your very own binoculars, that way you don't have to get too close to do your sleuthin'." He handed them to her and in turn was a bit surprised when she latched onto his leg.

"Thanks Dr. Nefario, you're the best not grandpa ever!" Edith said and ran away with her new gift.

"Wait for me!" Agnes yelled, running after her and dragging her unicorn behind her.

"Thanks Dr. Nefario." Margo said finally, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He blushed and she went off after her two sisters.

Dr. Nefario stood there smiling for a while, until he jumped suddenly at another scream. He knew that voice too.

"That was so cute!" Lucy squealed.

"Nice job, Dr. Nefario. I didn't kno you had eet in you." Gru said, stepping out from the doorway they were standing in.

"It was nothing, really." Dr. Nefario replied.

"No…I think eet was sumthing." Gru waved his finger. "De gurls have really taken a liking to you…dis ees why we have decided dat you are to be coming on de vacation with us after all."

"You're foolin' me." Dr. Nefario said, genuinely shocked.

"No, you deserved eet. You are truly a part of de family."

"Oh right. Speaking of that Gru, the minions—"

"Don't worry about de minions! They will behave demselves or no gifts for them when we get back."

"Oh no, I'm not worried about that. I'm sure they'll do fine on their own. It's just, that they seem very excited for some unknown re—"

"Well of course they're excited! Eet ees de first time they'll be left home alone for more than a few hours. And they're always happy for me when I go on vacation."

"Alright. I was just worried about them, is all."

"You got to learn to let loose, Nefario, look at you! You've been working yourself to de  _death!_  Yes, a family vacation ees exactly what we need around here." Gru said and the other two adults voiced their agreements with him. "Then eet ees settled! We are going!"

"Going where?" Margo asked, her and her sisters stepping into the room.


End file.
